“I Hated That I Wasn’t What He Was In The World, I Suffered A Raging Jealousy”, Will Smith Shares His Feelings About Tupac Shakur
Will Smith is very honest about his jealousy feelings during the early stages of his relationship with Jada Pinkett Smith — and particularly how he felt toward her friendship with Tupac Shakur.
In an excerpt from his recently published memoir, Will Smith is “intensely jealous” of Tupac Shakur because of his position and his very close relationship with Jada Pinkett Smith. Within the last few weeks, Will Smith has been extremely open regarding his consistently talked about marriage to Jada Pinkett Smith.
If you didn’t know, Jada and Tupac — who was killed in a shooting in 1996 — shared an exceptionally close friendship. The two attended the Baltimore School for the Arts together and quickly became inseparable after connecting over their shared passion for theatrical arts.
Despite years of speculation around whether or not there was more to their friendship, both Jada and Tupac confirmed several times that things between them were platonic. In 2017, Jada revealed that she and Tupac had gotten into a “hardcore” fight before his death, and weren’t speaking when he was killed.
Keeping with that theme, this latest bit of information from Will involves his feelings about Tupac, specifically how he felt inadequate in comparison to him largely due to his tight bond with Jada, via @HipHopDX.
In a section of his book speaking about ‘Pac, Will admitted the following:
“In the beginning of our relationship, my mind was tortured by their connection. He was PAC! and I was me. I hated that I wasn’t what he was in the world, and I suffered a raging jealousy: I wanted Jada to look at me like that. If she chose me over Tupac, there was no way I could be a coward. I have rarely felt more validated… I was in a room with Tupac on multiple occasions, but I never spoke to him. The way Jada loved Pac rendered me incapable of being friends with him. I was too immature.”
Will writes that he felt jealous of Tupac’s “fearless passion” and “militant morality,” which he would compare to his own inability to stand up to his father — with whom Will shared a turbulent relationship, due to his father’s pattern of “violent” behavior and alcohol use. Will writes, he felt insecure and cowardly against the late rapper. What’s more, Will compares Tupac to his younger brother Harry, who would often stand up to their abusive father, noting that he felt inadequate in comparison to both.
“[Tupac] was like Harry,” he writes. “[He] triggered the perception of myself as a coward. … I hated that I wasn’t what he was in the world, and I suffered a raging jealousy: I wanted Jada to look at me like that.”
This isn’t the first time that Will Smith has spoken about how he felt about Tupac. Just last year, the actor admitted he could “never open up” around the late rapper, in a candid interview with The Breakfast Club. While promoting ‘Bad Boys 4 Life,’ Will explained “[Me and Tupac] had a little bit of a thing because [Tupac and Jada] grew up together, and they loved each other, but they never had a sexual relationship. But, they had come into that age where now that was a possibility, and then Jada was with me.”
He continued, adding “Pac had a little thing on that, but she just loved him. Like, he was the image of perfection, but she was with The Fresh Prince.”
Despite the early days of jealousy, Will and Jada’s relationship progressed, and the two were married in 1997. Ever since, the Hollywood couple — who now share two children, Jaden, 23, and Willow, 20 — have been very open about their tumultuous relationship.