SHOCKER: Are Men Still Feeling Intimidated By Their Partners Earning More Than They Make?

She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared, but because she went on so strongly without despite the fear.

We are living in a gender equal world today. Women have fought hard to be recognized as equals to men. Phrases like, ‘what a man can do a woman can do better’ have evolved. We have seen women leaders from our corporate societies to presidents. Women are doing masculine jobs like masonry, plumbing, building and construction, to being in seats which were earlier considered men seats like Chief Operations Officers in corporate, Principals and Head Masters in Schools, Chief Executive Officers in organizations, Presidents in States and so much more.

 Likewise, just like women can do what men can do better, men have also proved that they can do what women can do even better. We see men in the Beauty and Cosmetology industry thriving, these five star hotels with the best chefs being men, who said men cannot be patrons in boarding schools? The best cleaning companies in town are owned by men. It is clear we are living in a modern world where you can be anything you dream of, but as much as men have accepted the fact that women have evolved, have they also accepted the fact that a woman making more money than they do is not a deal breaker?

We must talk about the number of women bread winners rising in the society today. Men feet the most anxious when they are the sole breadwinner in the family, and the least stressed when their women partners are contributing 40% to the household income. But as women make more money past that point, men become “increasingly uncomfortable” and stressed.

The reason? Traditional social gender norms suggest that men should be the breadwinners in relationships.

Even though the tides are turning, many individuals adhere to the deep-rooted unconscious belief that men must be able to provide financially to be a “proper” provider for their family.

If you are not fulfilling that expectation, it has the potential to damage your self-esteem and self-worth. Money adds a layer of complexity to men, because it’s a stressful topic that’s riddled with emotion, especially within the context of a relationship.

When women are the breadwinners, couples have a hard time discussing any confusing emotions that may arise. It’s deeply unsettling for some couples, especially if they’ve been raised and conditioned to believe men ‘should’ dutifully make more than their wives.

The only way to get through this pain point is to talk about it with your partner. Allow yourselves to get vulnerable. Do not let the masculinity complex crown your judgement and destroy your relationship.

There are, however, practical strategies that can be helpful for couples grappling with this imbalance.

Finding ways to level the financial playing field so that each person can feel financially valuable in the relationship (regardless of what they earn) is key. The husband can contribute to things like college funds or vacations, for example, if the wife is covering most daily costs.

Or if your male spouse is having a hard time defining his role as a ‘provider,’ then have a discussion around some major aspects of your life together that he can own and manage, like caring for the kids or cooking. Because most researches shows that when women make more money, they also take on more household responsibilities.

Our society likes women to be smart and beautiful but also quiet and appeasing. When a woman is opinionated or more traditionally “successful,” it can be threatening to her male partner. But do you think it should be so? Should men feel intimidated when the woman is making more?