When a couple discovers that they are expecting their first child, they know (hopefully) that they are in for some tremendous changes. This is the case no matter their age, no matter the size of their home or their income, and no matter how long they have been married. That the birth of the first child marks a time of incredible changes to a couple’s lifestyle and priorities is a universal truth
That first year certainly i certainty a doozy. But looking back, you’ll able to see things that helped you get through it as well as things you could have done better.
The Stress Factor
While the birth of a new baby is indisputably miraculous, the demands are daunting, making the first year as exhausting as it is exhilarating. Pride and joy jostle with sleep deprivation, frantic scheduling, marital issues, and work pressures. It’s a tidal wave effect. Adding a new family member is supposed to be a happy event, so people underestimate the profound stress of two people in one magical moment becoming three. It’s no wonder that about 80% of new mothers experience some sort of mood disturbance, ranging from the baby blues to postpartum depression.
Fortunately, most new parents find creative solutions and support from friends and family to help ease the transition. It’s critical to have your own coping strategies so you don’t end up feeling totally overwhelmed.
Losing Control
“When my daughter Sabrina was born, I went from being in control to realizing I was on a roller-coaster ride for the rest of my life waiting to find out what was around the next corner. I felt pushed down in the hierarchy of importance with my wife and yet was simultaneously required to do so much more.
First, I switched jobs to a family-friendly company that understood the needs of a new father. I also discovered a neighborhood park that I went to on weekends with Sabrina. It was a way for me to connect with other dads and put things in perspective. And I got closer with my parents. My mom shared her parenting wisdom, and my dad shared his cooking skills by making a meal for us once a week. It was a huge help. It was like I transcended my childhood because my parents and I were all in the same boat now.”– Kenny Odhiambo, 28, marketing executive, Nairobi City, father of Sabrina.
Finding Balance
“My emotions were all over the place. I felt off-center, like I couldn’t breathe. At the same time this was happening, I saw several beautiful celebrities in magazine spreads who’d just had babies and looked slim and fit mere weeks after giving birth.
I thought, they’re taking time for themselves, why aren’t I? It really motivated me. I wasn’t ready to conquer the physical yet because I knew the emotional had to come first, so I started doing energy-balancing work called Flow Alignment and Connection. You lie there on a massage table and essential oils are rubbed all over you. The goal is to find blocked energy points and to work on those areas. It’s very subtle but extremely powerful. It made me feel renewed and peaceful. I felt like a person again.”– Mary Wamboi, 36, stay-at-home mom, Mombasa City, mother of Jamie, 1