Kenya as a country seems to lack a unifying vision. We seem only to be driven with the motivation of living by the day or becoming rich for some. However, as a country, it is important to brand ourselves.
Stating what is required of Kenya as a country is easy, however, coming up with a dream for the country is not easy even though it should be.
The dream of nearly all Kenyans is putting food on the table, even for the rich, they just want to get rich and richer.
Many Kenyans have been bread on the notion that the most important thing is going to school, attaining a degree, getting a job and everything will run smoothly from then onwards. that never happens.
Currently, Kenya is a developing country. In my opinion bad leadership and corruption is the leading issue that drags the country from prospering.
Due to bad leadership and corruption, upward mobility for everyone is not possible. Even though America also has a dream that is well defined, achieving upward mobility still proves challenging for Americans.
The American Dream
The American dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of where they were born or what class they were born into, can attain their own version of success in a society in which upward mobility is possible for everyone. The American dream is believed to be achieved through sacrifice, risk-taking, and hard work, rather than by chance.
The Kenyan Dream
“The Kenyan Dream” is still a dream to many. However, building a vision starts with examining the gaps and major challenges being experienced. From the outlook of things, eliminating corruption and poor leadership can be the root to ending the economic disaster currently experienced in the nation.
Image from Quora
Therefore, I think it is proper to suggest that the dream of every Kenyan is seeing good leadership in place. Presence of good leadership in the country will alleviate all the other challenges being experienced inclusive of corruption.
It is thus important for every Kenyan to vote wisely and elect leaders with moral codes and an outstanding track record.
I therefore urge all Kenyan citizens 18 years and above to register as voters and make a change come the oncoming elections.
She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared, but because she went on so strongly without despite the fear.
Portrait of cheerful african american businesswoman discussing and smiling at the meeting with colleagues
We are living in a gender equal world today. Women have fought hard to be recognized as equals to men. Phrases like, ‘what a man can do a woman can do better’ have evolved. We have seen women leaders from our corporate societies to presidents. Women are doing masculine jobs like masonry, plumbing, building and construction, to being in seats which were earlier considered men seats like Chief Operations Officers in corporate, Principals and Head Masters in Schools, Chief Executive Officers in organizations, Presidents in States and so much more.
Likewise, just like women can do what men can do better, men have also proved that they can do what women can do even better. We see men in the Beauty and Cosmetology industry thriving, these five star hotels with the best chefs being men, who said men cannot be patrons in boarding schools? The best cleaning companies in town are owned by men. It is clear we are living in a modern world where you can be anything you dream of, but as much as men have accepted the fact that women have evolved, have they also accepted the fact that a woman making more money than they do is not a deal breaker?
We must talk about the number of women bread winners rising in the society today. Men feet the most anxious when they are the sole breadwinner in the family, and the least stressed when their women partners are contributing 40% to the household income. But as women make more money past that point, men become “increasingly uncomfortable” and stressed.
The reason? Traditional social gender norms suggest that men should be the breadwinners in relationships.
Even though the tides are turning, many individuals adhere to the deep-rooted unconscious belief that men must be able to provide financially to be a “proper” provider for their family.
If you are not fulfilling that expectation, it has the potential to damage your self-esteem and self-worth. Money adds a layer of complexity to men, because it’s a stressful topic that’s riddled with emotion, especially within the context of a relationship.
When women are the breadwinners, couples have a hard time discussing any confusing emotions that may arise. It’s deeply unsettling for some couples, especially if they’ve been raised and conditioned to believe men ‘should’ dutifully make more than their wives.
The only way to get through this pain point is to talk about it with your partner. Allow yourselves to get vulnerable. Do not let the masculinity complex crown your judgement and destroy your relationship.
There are, however, practical strategies that can be helpful for couples grappling with this imbalance.
Finding ways to level the financial playing field so that each person can feel financially valuable in the relationship (regardless of what they earn) is key. The husband can contribute to things like college funds or vacations, for example, if the wife is covering most daily costs.
Or if your male spouse is having a hard time defining his role as a ‘provider,’ then have a discussion around some major aspects of your life together that he can own and manage, like caring for the kids or cooking. Because most researches shows that when women make more money, they also take on more household responsibilities.
Our society likes women to be smart and beautiful but also quiet and appeasing. When a woman is opinionated or more traditionally “successful,” it can be threatening to her male partner. But do you think it should be so? Should men feel intimidated when the woman is making more?
You cannot go into this kind of relationship based on half-baked convictions. Hell no. You need to be pretty sure that this is what you want, and that you are prepared for whatever comes out of it. You also need to be reasonably sure of the kind of guy you’re about to date.
Being broke isn’t a crime. The issue is not that your man is broke and uneducated, but whether or not he plans to stay that way. A broke man is one that is both helpless, and refuses to get help in order to improve his income capacity.
No woman wants to date or marry a broke guy. It’s unfortunate when you think about how women always say, “There aren’t enough good men out there”. The truth is, there are. But they don’t all come making big bucks. Some are blue collar, others have bad credit records. But the flip side is some of those very men are supportive of their women, creative and ambitious. With the right woman, who knows where such a man will be in the future.
But let us be real and live in the present, we will cross the ‘future’ bridge when we get there. The question is, how long will you hold up the strong front before you crumble in the face of this financial chaos? Does he want help with prioritizing his income? Is he open about his finances and plans? Is he stuck in that financial rut or does he have practical plans to better his situation? Do you see a future between you guys? How well is he treating you? Only once you have answered these questions can you find a way forward.
Mature black couple embracing on sofa while looking to each other. Romantic black man embracing woman from behind while laughing together. Happy african wife and husband loving in perfect harmony.
Frankly, while it is admirable that you don’t care about his financial status at the moment, you still need to be sure of his drive and desire to not be broke for too long. What’s his attitude towards getting his finances right? It’d be catastrophic to say you love someone who is broke now and sits on his behind without plan and effort to break free from his present situation.
Young black couple feeling sad after arguing on sofa at home.
That he does not have a job at the moment or that he’s down on his luck does not disqualify him from finding love; and if you find yourself falling for a guy like this, here are things you need to know:
There’ll be inconveniences
There’ll be that, and there’ll also be sacrifices. You know those things that your former boyfriend used to do because he could afford it? Sorry, this new guy won’t be able to. You know those great, cute gifts your friends get from their boyfriends and post on Instagram? Sorry ma’am, you might not be able to post them for a while.
And hey, you might also have to share some of your salary with him while he’s still waiting to find his feet. It comes with the territory.
The sex is [always] on point
Ok. It’s not like there is empirical evidence or some stat to back up this assertion, but word on the streets support it. It is believed that broke guys somehow have mad sex skills and often try to make up for their financial weakness with sexual prowess.
It could end in disaster
Unhappy Couple After an Argument in the Living Room at Home. Sad Pensive Young Girl Thinking of Relationships Problems Sitting on Sofa With Offended Boyfriend, Conflicts in Marriage,
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the fact that you stood by a guy when he has nothing is not assurance that your love will be forever. It’s cruel and sad, but that’s how it is.
You could run all the supportive girlfriend scheme, you could be loyal and faithful and prayerful and you could even hand him your ATM card and he’ll still do you dirty when he hits it big.
Break up, relationship problems. Unhappy african-american man and woman standing back to back on gray background, copy space
See, some guys don’t even wait to hammer before they start to misbehave. You’ll be funding him, and he’ll be using your own money to cheat on you.
The current dating culture often emphasizes that two people should test their “sexual chemistry” before committing to each other.
This type of compatibility is frequently mentioned as an essential characteristic for people to seek out in romantic relationships, particularly ones that could lead to marriage. Couples who do nottest their sexual chemistry prior to the commitments of exclusivity, engagement, and marriage are often seen as putting themselves at risk of getting into a relationship that will not satisfy them in the future—thus increasing their probability of later marital dissatisfaction and divorce.
My question is, does one’s sexual experience affect how their partner perceive them in the relationship? Is it okay for one to have more experience than the other? If the woman has more experience, should that raise questions for the man? What if the man is the more experienced one, is it a plus in the sex game for the woman?
The list is endless! Let us be real, we all ask ourselves these questions sometimes, but do we get answers to them? Everyone’s different, and what’s important for some may not be at all important for others. It ultimately depends on your personal beliefs, physical desires, and the nature of your relationship.
For every new relationship you find yourself in, there comes a time when you and your partner speak of the past and plan for the future, especially when things are becoming pretty serious and commitment is becoming genuine.
Relationship crisis. Young couple yelling at each other on gray studio background
Of all the sexual things you can ask from bae/boo though, the sexual experience question is not necessary. And this is simply because some things are just better left unknown, some information better left undiscovered. Let people divulge it willingly if they choose to. And if they don’t, that’s fine too. Don’t bother them for it. Don’t stress them about it.
Women don’t think of the number of women a man has been with before loving them as they should. Why can’t they be accorded the same courtesy?
Besides, there’s no assurance that the figure she’ll tell you is the accurate thing. And how would you know if she downplayed the numbers just so you don’t run off or start acting strange because of the truth?
Lovely black couple lying in white bed, sleeping together, top view
Really, it’s simple; if you think she is kind, smart, intelligent and fun to be with, how does her body count suddenly change all of the positive vibes you feel with her?
Come to think of it, the only gain you get from knowing about your partner’s sexual experience history is satisfaction for your curiosity.
Does it even matter if he/she is pretty good in bed and have kinky ideas he/she likes to try? Is overthinking worth spoiling the priceless intimate time you’d have had with your partner? So what if he/she is a master/mistress in sexual positions? Will that improve your dating experience?
Most times, guys can’t even deal with the truth especially when the babe in question is one that has truly explored her sexuality before they came into the picture.
I find this hysterical given the joke (that’s not a joke) that says; If you want to know the actual number of sexual partners a man has had you take the number he tells you and cut in half. If you want the number for a woman you take the number she tells you and multiply by three. I know that’s an over generalization but in my experience it’s not off by much. Now, to the facts.
This is where I get to talk about how unfair it is that guys could have slept with over 10 girls and will be hailed a champ and a woman does the same and she’s a tramp. That just doesn’t seem right especially now that gender equality is being called for more.
Ladies, you are all absolutely free to do whatever & whoever you wish. However, every choice any of us makes has a consequence, good or bad. Our entire lives are directed by each choice we make each day. If you want to hook up with every Tom, Dick & Harry (T, D & H) that’s your choice.
If I don’t want to have a relationship with or marry you because you’ve hooked up with every T, D & H that’s my choice. No man wants to marry & no child wants their mother to be, or to have been, the town bicycle.
If there ever was a list of information that do not have any bearing on that beautiful relationship/marriage happiness you seek, the sexual experience question surely has to be in the top five.
It’s that unimportant.
The bottom line
What’s important is that you find a partner who understands your needs and desires, no matter what they are. Open communication is essential for every romantic and sexual relationship.
If you’ve ever been asked, “Do you and your partner go out a lot?” you might answer like one of the millions of couples who’d chuckle and say, “Yes, sure we do. But not together”. But you don’t want to stay home all the time, so you trade-off on social events?
Of course, this isn’t a rallying cry for spouses to say, “See! This proves that I should be able to do what I want when I want.” Instead, as a couples mediator, I bring the peaceful negotiation method to the table, which is, ask first, enjoy second. If you want to attend an event or make a social plan, talk to your mate before you commit. Offer to trade-off and encourage your mate to take a guilt-free night out for him/herself while you stay home.
Live venues in Nairobi, Kenya, featureing Brew Bistro, Choices and K1. Photo by Caitlin Nordahl
I think it’s perfectly healthy to go out with your friends for a night of drinks (or whatever) and fun. No one says that just because you are going out without your significant other that you are going to cheat, or do something that would upset them. I’m not sure if it is generational or if it is just the norm, but I think it’s really odd that girls who go out with their girlfriends get talked badly about. I mean really, I go out with a girlfriend for a few drinks at a bar, and the next week there is a rumor going around that I’m cheating on my boyfriend with my ex-boyfriend from like 6 years ago. If a guy goes out alone, then he must be trying to hook up with some other girl. Are we really that simple minded?
Some argue that it’s a respect thing, we’ll if I’m not doing anything to disrespect my relationship, why do we have to be joined at the hip? I am an adult and sometimes I need my space. I love my significant other, but just like when you spend too much time with your siblings, and you start to just get annoyed at them for chewing “too loud“, the same goes for your spouse. The sun does not set in their ass every waking moment of the day. As much as we love them so much and want to spend the rest of our lives with them does not mean we want to spend the rest of the day with them!
I guess it depends on the context. Is it a college style drunken party where you won’t know many people, and barely know the host? That’s inappropriate in my eyes. Those parties are specifically intended for hookups and meet ups.
Happy group of men at a bachelor party at a nightclub having fun
Is your close friend or colleague throwing a house party/barbecue where you’ll know most of the people and generally be expected to behave yourself? That’s completely different.
The difference is the party intention.
Group Of Female Friends Enjoying Night Out At Rooftop Bar
Would you feel comfortable if she went to some ranger party with kegs and frat boys without you? What if her best friend is just having a little shindig, and she will know the company before hand?
I suppose most importantly, what does she think? If you’re asking this in the first place, there’s a little guilt involved, right?
Shot of a group of young people having fun in a nightclub
You are allowed to have a life with or without a girlfriend /boyfriend. Being young is what life is about memories. At your age relationships come and go. It is healthy to do things with friends.
Shot of a couple having their picture taken while out on a date
I’ll tell you what the best thing ever is, going out for a girls night, sexy texting your better half after the third glass of wine, finally getting home, having him take you to the bathroom, and curling up in bed knowing damn well he is going to play nurse the next day because you will be hung over as shit. It rocks. I don’t want to go home with anyone else but my spouse, because let’s be honest, I get annoyed with drunk me, and I finally found a man who puts up with that bitch, I’m keeping that crazy man!
Bottom line guys, is spending your life with someone is the most amazing thing you can do. Finding someone who you want to commit your entire self to is beautiful. But at the end of the day, you cannot argue that having a sense of independence is crucial to making a relationship work. You don’t want to always be waiting around for someone to get off work so you can have some interaction, make your own friends, and live a life that is full.
Is possible to be friends with your ex without it affecting your new relationship?
Have you ever wondered if it’s wrong to talk to your ex while you’re in a relationship with another person? If you have and you’re still curious, I can tell you that it’s often very wrong.
Honestly, you can’t, and to think of it, there isn’t any need to be in contact with your ex. The reason is that whatever you had with that person will echo in your current relationship. Memories you shared with that person will linger around you. Remember this person was once your whole world, your ‘pillar’, how do you even start friend zoning such a person without harboring the old feelings?
If you’re truly ready to commit to a new relationship, then you need to forget about old romances. It’s nice if you can be on friendly terms with your ex, but that’s what they exactly are; an ex is nothing but ‘History’. Actually, talking to your ex while in another relationship is very disrespectful because that is being dishonest!
What people say, is that really true?
People like to think that there isn’t any romance left in the old relationship, that they truly are just friends . But at some point, you can’t help but think that you’ve been intimate with this person, you’ve loved them; there was a time when you thought that you’d last forever.
The experiences you had with this person will stay with you forever. So, talking to an ex while in a relationship will only make matters more worse for you.
And if you decide to talk to your ex while being with someone else, then what will happen if you are suddenly caught up in a sacrificing situation? Who will you prioritize if your ex suddenly needs you? Whose feelings do you sacrifice?
Its kind of you to be there for that person and not hold any grudges but it’s a cruel kindness that you’re inflicting.
At the same time, you are being unfair to your new partner by reminding them that they are not special. It also states that your loyalty is divided. You have already experienced a love that you thought would never end, and that past love still exists in your life.
If you are truly ready to invest yourself in your new relationship, if you truly love them, you owe them a clean slate – a relationship where your love is unique and irreplaceable and not a love that came after the one you had before. Besides, you wouldn’t want your partner to talk to his or her ex and mess with the stability of your relationship, right?
It isn’t healthy to live in the past.
Your ex is your past, and that is where they should stay. What if your ex still has feelings for you? And if they do, they will always be hinting at getting back together or mention how they miss being with you. This may divert your attention, and you will lose focus from your current relationship.
All in all, staying in touch with your ex is not a good option for you, and you must try your best to move on.
However!
There are circumstances where you have to talk to your ex. For instance, your ex happens to be your workmate, talking to him or her shouldn’t be consider bad for your new relationship. As long as you keep it formal and strictly work related.
You can have s*x in ways that are fulfilling, fun, good and generous, or you can have s*x in ways that are harmful, bad and dangerous. Marriage is not, and has never been, a way to protect against the harmful, bad and dangerous potential of s*x.
A few years back, a lot of teens were taking something called the “purity pledge”, wherein they vow not to have sex until they get married. That was why so many virgins were out here “staying pure” till marriage.
Well, it used to work back then but now, things have clearly changed. Sex is not just for married people, but also the couples that are just dating and practically anyone who is up for it. s*x is no longer for reproduction purposes thanks to family planning methods, its for bonding and also for fun.
Yes, I said fun! Dating is overrated, people are having flings and entanglements just for purely s*x with no strings attached. Hey, I’m all for people putting off s*x until they’re adults and can handle the ramifications, but let us be real, would you marry someone you have never been intimate with? Do you think it is important to have sex before marriage?
I think s*x before marriage is very important because it is part of the courtship. Marrying the devil you know we all agree is better than marrying the angel you don’t know. Back to the sex, you need to know what you are dealing with before walking into a marriage, those lasts forever! Here is what you need to know:
Sex itself.
Not everyone is great in bed, and most people don’t start out very good at all. A lot of good s*x is about listening to your partner and being able to respond accordingly. But how do you know if someone is a good listener or responder unless you try it first?
Size
Don’t you want to know if your husband is packing a hunting rifle or a tiny little plastic kid’s pistol? After all, he knows how big your boobs are. I’m not saying size would be a deal breaker, but don’t you have the right to know what’s down there?
Sexual issues
Sexual problems like premature ejaculation, inability to get an erection, or even an allergy to your partner’s semen are all possibilities, wouldn’t you rather deal with those issues before you’re married? This way you know if your future is even going to address them.
Let’s face it, sex plays a big role in marriage. Just like you should discuss children, religion, and where you both want to live before tying the knot, sex is too big a part of a relationship to leave to chance.
Is sex before marriage a sin biblically?
I have been told so many times that the bible says sex before marriage is a sin. However, when asked to provide exactly where this rule is listed in the Bible, the answer from many Christians is much less confident. My belief that premarital sex is sinful has been shattered.
So what is the truth about having sex outside of marriage?
The truth is that we are having the wrong conversation over and over again. In an attempt to justify what is believed to be common knowledge, we are pulling at any verse that has an inkling of resemblance to premarital sex. We are using these verses, devoid of their context and circumstance, in order to justify a belief that does not have much merit.
An important part about reading the Bible is understanding those circumstances under which it was written and how it can be applied to today’s society. What is written about sex before marriage in the Bible comes predominantly from the book of 1 Corinthians, written by Paul.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body’s a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
This verse can be interpreted to mean that God is in control of our bodies. While it is undeniable that glorifying God through celibacy or through your body is a way to honor God, this verse is also getting at the submissive role of women at this time in the world.
We are having the wrong conversation. Marriage, in its traditional sense, is not the only covenant we are making with each other. Instead of asking ourselves, “Is it immoral to have sex before marriage?” we should be tailoring the question to fit our unique needs, which depend upon our individual circumstances and commitment to another person. Sex before marriage is not a sinful act.
Have you ever taken time to think or rather imagine, what if you’ll never become rich, what if you’ll not find the woman of your dreams, have you ever wondered why things never worked out the way you wanted
Well, these are just some of the questions that many youth, especially people in their 20s just like me fear to think about.
As little kids, I always knew that by my 20s, I would have made moves in life, infact, big moves. I always knew that I will end up a very rich person, even richer than former president Uhuru Kenya, Maybe richer than Aliko Dangote, Maybe I wouldn’t have been as rich as Bill Gates or Jeff Bezo’s but I was certain I would have been in the ranks of Alibaba….
Now I’m in my mid-twenties and I seem not to have a plan for all that. Every time I want to think through that I keep asking myself, where did I go wrong and that is the end of the discussion.
Lately, these questions disturbed me so much and I decided to at least think them through and see if I can get an answer.
I know many of you, especially if you are in your 20s or even early 30s, are struggling to make ends meet. We are at a point where in a few years we are going to have a lot of responsibilities and most of the dreams we had as little children are going to fade away and die.
While thinking about why I am not the person I had thought I would be, other questions came to my mind and I would also like to ask you.
What if you’ll never become rich and you’ll die a poor man or a poor woman just like the poor people you used to see when you were young?
What if you’ll end up marrying just another ugly lady that you impregnated and circumstances forced you to settle with her.
What if that beautiful, curvy, kind and intelligent woman you wanted to have was just a dream and the reality is the girlfriend you are having now
What if you’ll never get a job thus end up doing vibarua (day labor) here and there just to make ends meet for the rest of your life
It is even more painful to think, what your friends or the people you’ve known since when you were young and those you met in school will make it in life and its only you who will be unfortunate
Maybe that’s your fate, you were never to be rich.
If only you could know the end game maybe you’ll stop thinking a lot, you’ll stop working so hard for success that you’ll never see.
But we don’t know what’s ahead of us and that is why we keep on fighting and thanking God for every day that we wake up early. Maybe some good luck will come your way or maybe one of your friends or relatives will come through for you and you get a good job.
The 20s is the most dangerous period, you are not married but you are about to, maybe you don’t have kids but they are just around the corner, it has always been about you but soon you start having some unconditional responsibilities, F**K the 20s.
To be honest, I do not have an answer to what people in the 20s should do or think but what im certain is that there are high chances of disappointments.
Therefore, I think it is good to prepare for the worst, be ready for anything. No matter what, avoid depression at all cost, Stress And depression are two monsters that you should even be afraid of more than death.
I have heard and seen people who are depressed and all I can confirm is that you can be alive physically but inside you are dead.
Life is worth living and in the case whereby we fail to achieve our dreams, the late 20s is the best time to restructure your goals and dreams.
Maybe we will not achieve our childhood dreams because we planned without conducting a pilot study to know the obstacles that we will face.
Right now you know all the challenges, you know your potential, this is the best time to erase all the dreams you had and start writing down new dreams considering the challenges you are facing and the potential that you have. This is the best time to plan you life.
That will be all for today. My name is Clinton Wanjala. If you are interesting in learning how to start a photography business that pays, I have created a guide called How to Start a Photography Business in Kenya (And Actually Make Money). The guide contains my expert opinion on how you can make a successful career as a photographer in Kenya.
If you asked an African child how they know that they are loved, more than 90% will say that they took care of them to their level best regardless of the socio-economic status. However, is it not the responsibility of a parent to take care of their children?
Many African parents mistake responsibility of love and the same is passed down from generation to generation. Looking at western nations, a day rarely passes without a parent uttering words such as “I love you son/daughter,” how was your day? I am proud of you. This is often coupled up with undivided attention. However, some might argue that actions speak louder than words, however, this is not a case to a parent-child relationship.
Human beings are social beings and thus tend to value social interactions more than material things and this is even more intense when it comes to children.
Psychological studies have identified the core things that children need above all. Some of these things are love, security, emotional support and good role models. In all these, African parents fail a lot to provide.
Majority of African parents work tirelessly to provide their children with basic needs and in this way assume that their children will feel loved. On the contrary, African children rarely experience love and tend to seek for love elsewhere.
I believe that it is the lack of love and affection from home that makes many Africans admire the western culture. We Africans are rarely contended with what we have and that is the core reason for the increase in westernization tendencies in Africa.
People are taught to fight, backed up with the phrase “never give up”. I know you have been taught to be determined and never to give up on your dreams. However, they didn’t teach you when to give up, how to forget and start a new chapter in life.
Many people, inclusive of myself have been stuck in same old shit with the hope that one day I will wake up and things will be different. I don’t know why I’m certain in my mind as I am writing this article that the same thing happens to you. You can be a good singer, actor, poet etc… however, being good is not enough, so like others you wake up every Monday morning go for auditions but still your brand doesn’t grow, no one knows your name and as a result you get zero gigs.
Similar thing happens to job seekers, you can hunt for jobs for months or even years but every interview doesn’t result to employment. However, since we are told never to give up, you keep on pressing until it’s too late, midlife crisis kicks in and you are left depressed.
When is the right time to give up?
When you are running out of time
When pursuing your goal is making you really, really unhappy.
When you are no longer interested
When you don’t have the resources to succeed
When you are worried of what others might think when you give up
When your inability to accomplish your goal is making you hate yourself
Looking at popular names since time immemorial, their advice has always been, never give up.
Vince Lombardi once said,
“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.”
Is this really true. According to me, there are moments when loosing is winning and quitting can be the best thing to do.
Nelson Mandela also said that
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
Have you ever taken time and just figured out that it can be just impossible and maybe it can never be done. Knowing when something is impossible doesn’t make you a quitter, loser or lazy, On the contrary, it makes you smart. You are smart enough to know that you are not in a position to go against the odds.
The phrase never give up has been fed to us since we were children thus making it hard for us to have a different view of pursuing our dreams.
I have read and observed the world keenly and I tell you my brother, I tell you my sister, there is a very important lesson we missed while growing up.
There are many strategies you can use in life to just make it and be like other rich people, other happy people or successful. I would like to insist that what I am writing about is largely about financial and career success but it can also be other forms of success like just being contented with what you have or where you are.
Back to the main question, when should someone give up. This subject is very challenging and I have to be honest, this is an open discussion on the comment section since I don’t have a perfect answer for it. However, the first step to know when to give up is coming up with timelines.
In whatever you plan, always ensure that you have a timeline. For instance, let’s say that you are looking for a job. If you graduated in the year 2021, create a timeline, for example, write it in your diary;
I’ll hunt for a job of my dream which is blab la bla… for seven years and in the case whereby by then I will not have that job I will resolve to alternative B, C or D.
Coming up with a timeline or rather deadlines is an answer to the question “When is the appropriate time to give up?” If I gave this article to Thomas Edison, he would have rejected and provided counter arguments such as:
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
On the contrary, I would have argued. Edison and his team tried thousands of different things prior to settling on tungsten filaments for the light bulbs which turned out into an industrial empire.
Therefore, if these great figures whose moral lessons is to never give up gave up on so many things before finding the right thing, who are you to keep doing just one thing and expecting better results each time.
Keep in mind, I am not telling you to give up easily on what you are doing. The decision to give up should not be an easy one. It has to be well thought and smartly decided.
Every time you are engaged in an activity that is part of your vision, bear in mind “what is the actual thing that you really want”. Do you want a successful business or what you want is to get rich. In many instances, the answer is getting rich because what a successful business brings is wealth. Therefore, there are many ways one can be wealthy and there are many businesses one can do and eventually become rich.
Therefore, it is good and smart to consider alternatives. If something is not working out, give it a deadline and when the deadline passes without success, you can opt to putting it aside and focusing on something else. When you become successful at one thing, believe me it will be easy to make other dreams that you had come true.
What do you think about this topic, feel free to pour your thoughts on the comments section. Thank you for reading. Check the disclaimer before leaving.
Disclaimer
This article does not apply to all situations, there are moments when giving up is a foolish thing. When you have a project, you can decide to pursue it for life without giving up. However, never allow your dream to be a source of your desperation. Always find something that will make your life comfortable then while on it, pursue your dreams.
